Prompt - write a poem about something you have struggled with.
Whispered Goodbyes
When our time ends it is never a question of if but a question of when,
And sometimes a wondering dark thought will pass now and then.
An image of a time when you are no longer around,
And the mutters of your name will no longer make a sound.
I wish for a time when these thoughts would not envelop me,
Drag me to a place so dark I can no longer see.
I know deep down that the voice isn't really there,
but it feels so real when your fear pierces you with a soul-crushing stare.
Sometimes I think if I wasn't here at least it would shut up,
But these anxious thoughts are within a cup I am forced to sup.
Where did it go? The carefree nature I once had,
Replaced with a constant humming thought that everything I do is bad.
How can I be so egotistical one moment in time,
To then a shivering wreck who can only audibly make a whine.
I feel like two people, one functioning, one broken,
One minute drowning in a crowd, the next well-spoken.
As much as it hurts and the anxiety overwhelms every aspect of my life,
And the way my thoughts and feelings cut into me like a well-sharpened knife,
I know I can't leave this all behind, not yet at least,
It would affect too many people creating an even bigger emotional beast.
My anxiety keeps me alive for now out of fear of disappointing people further,
But as days go past thoughts get louder for my own personal murder.
I can see my own spiral, my own breakdown,
And I hold it together because of fear that others would just watch me and frown.
Frown at my weakness, my inability to keep it together,
But I have been trying for so very long so trust me when I say forever.
I can't wait until the moment all my thoughts will be left to lie,
And the day I can mutter my whispered goodbyes.
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Shape Anthem
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